Monthly Archives: May 2005

Two creative writing pieces

(I’m getting behind transcribing these pieces… – L)

My Playground

I love swinging on the swings. I love sliding down a slide. I love going up the stares with my dad. I love going to the playground. It is fun.

Jon
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I Love the Zoo

I like to see animals at the zoo. The lions rore. The monkeys say oo oo ahhhhh ahhhhhh. I love rideing the camels.

Jon

Good old rock. Nothing beats rock…

From an amusing story about Christie’s and Sotheby’s duking it out for the privilege of auctioning off a $25 million art collection by playing rock, paper, scissors at the behest of the client.

Kanae Ishibashi, the president of Christie’s in Japan…spent the weekend researching the psychology of the game online and talking to friends, including Nicholas Maclean, the international director of Christie’s Impressionist and modern art department.

Mr. Maclean’s 11-year-old twins, Flora and Alice, turned out to be the experts Ms. Ishibashi was looking for. They play the game at school, Alice said, “practically every day.”

“Everybody knows you always start with scissors,” she added. “Rock is way too obvious, and scissors beats paper.” Flora piped in. “Since they were beginners, scissors was definitely the safest,” she said, adding that if the other side were also to choose scissors and another round was required, the correct play would be to stick to scissors – because, as Alice explained, “Everybody expects you to choose rock.”

Sotheby’s took a different tack. “There was some discussion,” said Blake Koh, an expert in Impressionist and modern art at Sotheby’s in Los Angeles… “But this is a game of chance, so we didn’t really give it that much thought. We had no strategy in mind.”

Christie’s picked scissors; Sotheby’s picked paper. Guess Sotheby’s going to have to start taking the game a bit more seriously!

Cardinal Wolsey

The following list is from the usenet, and featured in an interesting exchange of letters between film critic Roger Ebert and a dwarf actor who objected to Ebert’s use of “midget” in a previous column.

It’s a list of Cockney rhyming slang apparently used among disabled Cockneys in East London:

Mutt and Jeff = deaf
Canary Wharf = dwarf
Cardinal Wolsey = cerebral palsy
Raspberry Ripple = cripple
Rubber and plastic = spastic
Tulips and roses = multiple sclerosis
Bacon rind = blind
Diet Pepsi = epilepsy
Benny and the Jets = Tourettes
Wasps and bees = amputee