Consider Yourself Warned

Peter Admittedly I’ve never owned a cat, so technically this is hearsay.

How to Tell Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

Alayne? Judith?


  1. Alayne says:

    And then there’s always the insomnia offense, whereby your cat disrupts your sleep patterns by:
    * waking you up every morning at 5 am, then 4 am, then 3 am… Very insidious;
    * suddenly walking over you in the middle of the night, preferably over your stomach;
    * peeing on your bed so that you have sleep (or try to) elsewhere.

    Just call me baggy-eyed,

  2. Jude says:

    Crap I took the test and it says there is a 85% chance my cat is trying to kill me. Now the test does not acknowledge that one might have more than 1 cat. So does that mean my odds are actually higher? Better keep up with their treats – who knows what trouble I will be in!

  3. David "Not Barker" Meower says:

    The test also applies if you’re just cat-sitting for a week. Boy, does it ever.

  4. Jude says:

    Oh david – I think moving forward you should bring them to your home for sitting. After all if you go and stay at their home, they know the good spots from which to hide the body.

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